This is the second post in a connected series on the basics of child behavior. Click here if you want to go back to the first post on the causes of child behavior! These posts will break down the basics of understanding problem child behaviors, why child behaviors occur, how to prevent problem child behaviors, and how to handle child behaviors when they occur.

The second post will focus on taking data on child so you can better understand what your child is doing and why!

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​The Functions of Child Behavior

Each of the four causes (or functions) of child behaviors has its own set of effective strategies.  You have to know the function of the child behavior in order to choose the correct strategy.  One of the most important facts you will learn in this post is: There is no certain strategy for a specific problem child behavior, but there are certain strategies for specific causes of child behavior.  This fact may explain why you may have felt that you’ve tried every strategy possible and none of it worked.  You were likely using strategies in response to child behaviors rather than in response to causes.  If you used time out every time your child had a tantrum, but some of the tantrums were for attention and some were for escape, then time out wouldn’t stop the tantrums (it might actually make them occur more because the escape-focused tantrums were paying out!) It would be more effective to use time out for attention-seeking tantrums and guided compliance for escape/avoidance tantrums. 

Why and How to Take Data on Child Behavior

By now you likely understand that the first step to changing child behavior is determining the cause of your child’s behavior.  The process of finding the cause of behavior is called a functional behavior assessment (FBA).  We want to assess (or figure out) the function (or cause) of the behavior.  FBAs are done by a range of child behavioral experts in research studies, classrooms, and therapist’s offices.  FBAs rely on setting up situations to identify the causes of problem behaviors.  Although a formal FBA can be very informative, it is also possible to use a simpler method to learn the functions of child behavior: charting.

By using an ABC chart (check out the one at the end of the post), you can begin to find patterns in child behavior. The chart posted here has a sample page to show you how to complete one and a blank one for you to use! The ABC chart identifies the Antecdent (which is the trigger) for the child behavior, the Behavior, and the Consequence (or your response) to the child behavior.  Once you find patterns on the chart, you should be able to determine the cause of the child behavior. 

When you’re ready to complete the charts, you should pick one child behavior to focus on and choose a few days when you can track it.  Whenever you see that specific child behavior, make a mental note to remember everything that is happening; you can fill in the charts later, when you have time.  In the first column (A), think about what happened right before the child behavior.  In this first column you will list every detail you can recall (who was present, time of day, location, any statements made to him or others, etc).  The middle column (B) is for listing the details of the behavior itself.  Indicate what exactly your child did (kicked, ran off, screamed “no”) and how long it lasted (2 minutes, 3 hits, etc).  Finally, in the third column (C), you will write what you did as a result of the behavior.  Include anything you said to him, whether you looked at him, talked to him, walked away from him, and so forth.  Put in every detail you can until your child is calm and has returned to his normal activities.

It is important to actually write out each child behavior incident and not simply a general concept of what usually happens.  Many parents think that the behavior is the same every time (e.g., “I tell him to clean his room and he yells at me and I beg him and then about 20 minutes later I give up and do it for him”).  Although it may be similar to that each day, you should write out each incident so you can see if there are slight differences that you are missing.  Be sure to write down the child behavior incident before you have too many stored in your mind.  Although each one seems clear initially, when you have a few in your mind it can be hard to remember the details of each one. 

Analyzing the Child Behavior Data

Once you have a good number of incidents listed, you can begin to go back and look for patterns.  By focusing on the first column (A), you can often find certain triggers (times of day, people, activities) that are consistently problematic.  Once triggers are identified, it may be possible to alter the day to prevent some of these triggers.  By focusing on the third column (C), you may be able to find the function of the child behavior.  If your child constantly wears you down and gets what he wants, he may be motivated by tangible items.  If your child never gets what she wants, but often engages you in a conversation or argument, she may be motivated by attention.  Once you know the function, you can implement an appropriate strategy to reduce the child behavior.

In addition to ABC charts, you will find frequency charts helpful. Check out the ones at the end of this post.  The chart posted here has a sample page (to show you how to use it) and a blank one for your use. Frequency charts are great because sometimes it is important to see how often problem behaviors actually occur so you will be able to notice whether there has been a decrease.  If your child has tantrums 20 times per day and you implement a strategy that reduces it to 10 times per day, you would see a 50% reduction on the frequency chart.  This change is dramatic, and should make you feel you are making good progress.  Without a frequency chart, however, you may have trouble noticing the 50% decrease because 10 tantrums per day is still quite a lot.  You may still feel you are dealing with tantrums all day long and begin to feel frustrated and ineffective despite the significant progress you have made.  For child behaviors that occur many, many times each day, it is often helpful to use a frequency count to get baseline data (a count before you start your strategy) and then to check back in from time to time to see how much change has occurred.

How to Stop Problem Child Behaviors Before they Start

After analyzing your ABC data, you can begin to address antecedents (or triggers) for child behavior. Although consequences are often effective ways to manage problem behaviors once they start, it’s even better to prevent the behaviors at all.  Would you prefer your child have short tantrums twice per week or not have tantrums at all?  Would you prefer your child hit his sister just once each month or not hit her at all?  Obviously, you would prefer your child not to have problem behaviors at all.  You will find you can often stop problem behaviors before they start by using child behavior prevention strategies.

Once you have collected a few days’ worth of data on child behaviors, you can review your ABC chart for common triggers.  Are problem behaviors most common before meals (hunger), before bedtime (fatigue/sleepiness), the day before your child stays home from school sick (fighting an illness) or in crowds (sensory overload)?  These four triggers are some of the most common causes for child behavior, but certainly not an exhaustive list.  If you can identify a trigger for your child, you might be able to put in a simple fix to eliminate the issue.  Could you offer a healthy snack an hour before dinner to reduce tantrums from hunger?  Could you set up a quiet, calming activity in the late afternoon to reduce aggression from fatigue?  By making simple changes to your daily routine, you might be able to prevent some child behavioral difficulties.

Another way to prevent problem behavior is to ensure your child understands the expectation.  Adults often report that their child won’t follow directions when, in reality, their children simply didn’t understand the way the adult phrased the command.  Often adults become upset that their children tell them “no” in response to a command even though the adult did not actually give a command at all.  Adults frequently ask a question (“Can you set the table?”) rather than give a command (“Set the table”).  Polite adults generally ask each other questions to communicate (“Can you pass me the napkins?” or “Do you mind sitting down?”).  This communication style is so automatic in polite conversation that most adults don’t even realize they are doing it.  Although this form of communication is polite to adults, it is extremely confusing to children.  Children think they have an option when they are asked a question, so they may say “no” rather than do what has been asked.  In this type of situation, the child is not trying to be disobedient; she truly believes she was asked a question, so she chose an answer.  It is far more effective to say “Pass me the napkins” or “Sit down” when speaking to children.  Also, be aware of questions you might slide in at the end of a command (e.g., “You need to sit the table right now…okay?”).  The addition of the word “okay?” turns the command into a question.  The simple rule of thumb is, only ask a question if your child has a choice.  It can, in fact, be very helpful to give choices throughout the day when you don’t mind the options (“Do you want to play outside” or “Do you want to have a snack?”).  When children have choices (and therefore a voice) throughout the day, they are often more compliant when they are given commands at other times of day.

Now that you know WHY the child behavior is happening, the next post will talk about using rewards to start changing child behaviors!

Want to find out more? This post is adapted from my book on child behavior: Insiders Tips and Strategies for Parenting
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